8
before i sleep
between my sheets
a short poem 
on love

love is the stuff
that fills the gaps
between you
and i

it's the balm 
that eases the pain
where my sharp points
scratch your soft surface

it's the breath
that soothes the discomfort
where your incomprehensible edges
try to spoon mine

i once thought love was
the way puzzle pieces
fit together

now i know
it's not about how 
we were made to be

rather, perhaps
it's about how
we make ourselves

7

my heart is screaming
GET THE FUCK DOWN THERE
RUN after your pining lines
strung stright from your center to hers
to yours

YOUR face
YOUR smile
that tender loving heart of yours

im attached 

my whole body pulses with
a tenderness for you
a dry tongue searching for water in my own mouth

it's your openness that draws me in
permissioning me in my own openness

i want to see our naked hearts shining in the sun together
giving each other more and more reason to shed our shrouds

you inspire me
i listen to my throbbing veins
and feel the pulsing whooshes as 
yours

in you I see the openness in myself, and I miss it.
your naieve vulnerable creative gifts to the world
your loving kindness
my thrashing body struggling to make it through a day's work
im doing myself no good here
that's truth
being so far from
what it is I see in you

so come back to me heart 
loving leaning loopy lover

the story I had
that we needed to watch this porn film together
is just a story
and the emotions that
ran my mouth wild
are driven by something simpler.

i imagine my self tied to you in ways 
that make me want to gently brush
through the earth that separates us
so we might discover the tender threads
roots
mycelium
that connect us.

care to join me
in this innocent lust
for discovery?

6
Sometimes  theres just   a crack in
                       the sky

where once a ceiling covered
   your Fragile  tender body
                its Fearful floating mind

now the stars arent
     Plastic glow-in-the-dark Points | Pressed
with white gum-tak
  to blanket a cold night    in a fabric of intersecting lines
close enough to home to feel.

only glimmers of hope dancing
    The truth too distant for comfort
	   How am I supposed to feel warm
	       and loved.  and close.
		        When the stars sit so far away

5
Somehow I wish one day I'll find
another one who pines in life
for wonder and magic and mystery all in line.
Hand in hand we'll soar the stars
to greet old friends from worlds afar
each breath and step carried by our hearts.
In glory's light we'll be ourselves
come more and more out from our shells
help each other yell their magic spells.
Within us beauty forever grows
into a home that we may show
our wonder and magic and mystery to the world.

4
goodmorning year
this time i cry
again
the frozen tears icebergs surfacing shatter
again
love too strong for my weak heart hurts
again
turn towards pain swallowing whole
again
beg from its spiral center freedom
again

that tunnel goes nowhere
haven't you learned that yet

this is 2018
turn around
go in any direction
any one
but there

-

so show what have you learned
which oysters shell
marble and quell
plastidipped seasons
spell
S E A S O N S
i didn't light that figure yet
i didnt leave the gas on
i haven't found my name yet

where did I leave it
tagged at the counter lost to some earthworm kin
can't you see
the needle was never in the haystack
the mind was never meant to know
you may only find what isn't there
wherever it is you go

sometimes the coziest place
is a frigid apartment
in a red modernist chair
feeling further from anything

3
mark down tabs
bus driver lost
not the bus
the bus is here
waiting
waiting for its head and hands and feet
to press and twist itself all the way to boston
misplaced where again?
oh, ELEVENTH ave
not FIRST
guess we have to go there
because two ones is one too many

here sit the customers
all neat in four columns
who knows how many rows
texting scrolling
whats next whats now
as the ground crew scrambles to
darn the hole in the fabric of their illusion
that this is a 'service'
that people together are a 'company'
how distinct the customers from their - servants?
at least in this line of work

please just get closer
enough to see the pores on their faces
and see the warmth of their breath
and feel their hearts beating too
its the distance that lets us forget

2
I... don't really know
   what   to   do
all i want to do is
give
back
but everything i try to do
is never enough
-
doesn't seem to
get me any closer to some feeling of having
given
back
and so each moment that comes to me - sitting
and reflecting on how little ive given back
and how much i could be giving back
i start to notice
				i get distracted
air blows over hair
the crinkles in the plastic molding
the sharpness of the sound surrounding
so snapped back, i ask
how best can i give
world tell me your needs
what most from me do you wish
just... help me out a little.

1
I have no desire to be whatever it is i am
and the words won't come out
not a dribble
they're stuck
in between my teeth like mango hair
behind my tonsils rotting into little white putrid pellets
glued to my tongue so i have to pull them out
one
by
one until for a small moment
they pour onto the page splashing
blurts of consciousness lasting
about the length of my typing pipe
and i'm scared that you'll read this
and think of me weak or
unworthy of your beautiful time
because no one lingers looking at flower buds
or pregnant fruit
when the next boquet arrives.